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Friday, 29 July 2016 09:48

Joke of the Week 7/29

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WONE Joke of the Week winner Lennie Kueking of Canal Fulton sends us this timely one for the Klaben Auto Works Package.

Last Saturday afternoon, in Cleveland a lawyer for Josh Gordon visited the Catholic Church. He told the Bishop that Josh would be attending the next mass and he asked if the Bishop would kindly point out Josh to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Josh a saint.

The Bishop said, “No, I don't really like the man and there are issues of conflict with the Church over certain things Josh has done.

The lawyer said, “ I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $10,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Josh as a saint.” I’m gonna have the newspapers there and TV and radio reporters too. They need to hear this.

The Bishop thought about it and said, “Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon.”

As Josh's lawyer promised Josh appeared for the Sunday worship and seated himself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. At the start of his sermon the Bishop pointed out that Josh was present and he went on to explain to the congregation that while Josh's presence is probably exciting to some, the man is not numbered among his personal favorite personages.

"Some of his actions are contrary to tenets of the Church," the priest intoned. "Josh is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucking baby and a nit wit. He smokes dope, does other drugs and is drunk a lot. He lies and is the worst example of a Christian I have ever personally witnessed."

And, true to his word the Bishop concluded, “But, when compared with Ben Roethlisberger, Johnny Manziel or Art Model, Josh is a Saint.”

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