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Jeff Kinzbach in the Morning (341)

Friday, 14 April 2017 10:07

Joke of the Week 4/14/17

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Joke of the week!! Thanks to Barb from Lakemore. She wins THE WORKS from any of the Klaben Auto Stores in Kent!! 
Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room in Pittsburgh. The first man's dog asked the second man's dog what he's there for. "They are putting me down," he says.
 
Oh no, says the first dog, why? The second dog says, "Well, you see...I've been chasing the Postman for years. Yesterday, I finally caught him, and bit him. So, I'm going to be put to sleep"
 
The second dog says, "well, my master just completely remodeled the inside of his house. I didn't like it because my scent wasn't anywhere, anymore. So, when he went to bed last night, I peed on everything I could find, to get my scent back. This morning, my master found out what I had done, so he is putting me to sleep also."
 
The third dog said, "this is my masters new girlfriend. She runs around the house all the time without her clothes. So, this morning, as she was getting out of the shower, and bent over to wipe up the water on the floor. I jumped on her." 
 
The other dogs say, " so that's why they are putting you to sleep?" 
 
No, says the dog, "she is bringing me here to get my toenails clipped!"
 
Friday, 17 March 2017 09:40

Joke of the Week 3/17/17

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The Joke of the Week comes from Jim Brown of Hudson, who snares The Works from Klaben Auto.

A man walked into a church in Pittsburgh and told the priest he had problems. The man didn’t have any arms and he couldn’t find a job.

The priest had an idea. He told the man that he could ring the bell. He showed him where and told him to move forward pushing the bell forward and get out of the way to let it ring.

The man started and got good at it...until one day, he didn’t get out of the way and the bell swung back and knocked him off the tower to his death. A crowd gathered, but no one knew him.

Then along came the priest...they all asked if he recognized the man: his response was "I don't remember his name, but his face rings a bell"!

 

Friday, 10 March 2017 09:39

Joke of the Week 3/10/17

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Joke of the Week is a sick one -- and thanks Denny Henke of New Philadelphia, who gets The Works from Klaben.

There was a bad airline crash in Pittsburgh. The FAA called family members to an aircraft hanger to Identify the remains. After most had been identified, and official reached down and picked up a head by the hair, held it high above his head, and called out "can anyone identify this man?'

A guy way in the back yells out "it looks like my brother.......but he wasn't that tall!!!"

 

 

Friday, 03 March 2017 09:54

Joke of the Week 3/3/17

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Joke of the Week goes to Dave Cornish of Akron, who gets The Works from Klaben Auto for this quickie

Have you ever wondered if the dollar bills in your purse or wallet were ever in a stripper’s butt crack?

If not, you’re wondering now. Have a nice day!

 

 

Monday, 27 February 2017 11:27

Joke of the Week 2/24/17

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Congrats and thanks to Terri Heffelfinger of Jeromesville for this Joke of the Week -- getting The Works from Klaben Auto!

After a long day at the waste treatment facility, Steeler Jim arrives home to his trailer, walks in and sees his wife, Bengal Betty, watching a cooking show.

He says, "Why are you watching that? You don't know how to cook."

Bengal Betty looks at him and says "So...you watch porn."

 

Friday, 17 February 2017 09:39

Joke of the Week 2/17

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Jim Gibson's getting The Works from Klaben Auto for the Joke of the Week.

Little Mario comes back from the school crying. “Mom, everybody in the school calls me "Mafioso".

“Donna worry, my son. Tomorrow I will go to see the principal.”

“Thank you mom. Please make it look like an accident.”

 

Friday, 03 February 2017 10:46

Joke of the Week 2/3/17

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Joke of the Week winner Rebecca Connor hails from Barberton, and scores for The Works from Klaben Auto!

Three football fans die at the same time and go to heaven. A Bengal fan, a Ravens fan and a Steelers fan.

An angel greets them and tells them "There is good news, everyone here gets a car. The more faithful you were to your wife the better the car. You get your cars in a week."

A week goes by and the guys return to see what kind of cars they got.

The Bengals fan says that he was not the most faithful, cheated a lot and feels bad about it and received a Prius. The Ravens fan said, "I only cheated two times and regret it, and I got a Porsche".

The Steelers fan was crying, but finally responds, "I never cheated one time and got the top of the line Lamborghini".

The other guys say, "That’s great, so why are you upset?"

The Steelers fan says "My wife just died yesterday and I just saw her go by; she was pedaling a tricycle".

 

Friday, 20 January 2017 10:00

Joke of the Week 1/20/17

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Heather didn't want us using her last name, even though we told her Steeler Jim doesn't read that far. She wins The Works from Klaben for this short sweet Joke of the Week!

Have you heard? Scientists have discovered the one sexual position that makes ugly kids! Just ask Steeler Jim’s Mom.

 

 

Friday, 13 January 2017 09:50

Joke of the Week 1/13

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Congrats to John Gilbertson of Macedonia for contributing this Joke of the Week for The Works from Klaben!

A Texan walks into a pub in Cincinnati and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer; in fact, one woman leaves but returns about 15 minutes later. Then Bengal Betty taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?"

The Texan says yes, and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Bengal Betty tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives Betty the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

Bengal Betty replies, "Oh ... I had to go to the bar down the street to see if I could do it first."

 

Friday, 23 December 2016 10:31

Joke Of The Week 12/23

Tony from Orrville scores Joke of the Week with his lineup of Christmas one-liners -- and that's got Tony the Klaben Works!

- What did the kid with two broken arms and two broken legs get for Christmas? A skateboard!

- Why did the snowman have a big smile on his face? Because the snow blower was coming down the street.

- Why was Santa upset over the sweater he got for Christmas? Because he was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

- As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked "Are you going to put that up yourself?" I replied "no, you sick dog. I'm putting it up in the living room."

Merry Christmas, and to all a ROCKIN' night!

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